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Inconvenient truths

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These bluebells have sprung up overnight. For winter, spring is an inconvenient truth. But seasons do not have power structures. The online autistic community is always up in arms about an unexplained ‘hate’ that they draw from allistics, my understanding of it would better align with a different sentiment – discomfort. One of the possible reasons for this discomfort is that we bring inconvenient truths to the table, like pulling out a dripping lobster from underneath in the middle of a vegetarian company dinner and landing it with a thud so that the sauce splatters all over the white sheets, a few drops land on the ties of the bosses.  My biggest takeaway from my time in the vacuum between my second and third lives (I am unsure if calling them lives or masks is more palatable) is a more evolved understanding of this discomfort. The shattering of my second mask (I believe mask is appropriate in this line, life is more appropriate in the former) entailed facing a few inconvenient tr...
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My spoken word made my mother laugh, my written word made my father laugh

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Father at home: 2022 One day when we were around 5 years old, a distant aunt entrusted with the task of providing some sort of lunch to me and my cousins asked me if I could eat with my hands.  A quick series of images flashed by – first an image of eating with my feet, second an image of being given food that would have to fit on my palm. I replied no, I usually needed a plate. Whatever the content of the lunch would be, I was sure my small palms would not be up to the task. This was when the aunt started laughing, and at some later point of this story being relayed to other family members, it became clear to me that she had meant to ask if I could use my own hands to eat or if I needed someone to feed me.  People often do not say what they mean and also often do not mean what they say. Even neurotypicals find it a problem, imagine the Sherlockian universe in which others have to forensically navigate conversations.  It was my mother who found this funny; she said she lo...
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Why isn’t there more activism from neurodivergent people? --- u/Primary-User (Reddit)

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The Burning of the Houses of Lords and Commons, 1835, Joseph Turner. CMA Open Access. Verbatim ~ Most activism runs on energy, crowds, slogans, confrontation. Neurodivergent people, including those with ASD, live in a different kind of economy: one of limited energy, constant adaptation, and daily triage. What looks like silence from the outside is often survival on the inside.  A protest that energises some people can completely disable others. Noise, unpredictability, and crowds are physical barriers for many of us. The irony is that the traditional language of activism is built around the very things that push us out of the room.  So our activism moves differently. It is quieter, slower, and more systemic. It happens in threads that explain sensory overload to employers, in open source toolkits for accessible workplaces, in policy submissions, and in community resource sheets. It is activism by endurance, not adrenaline.  But there is another layer. Neurodivergent is a...
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The day I woke up as an autistic person

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The biggest shock of waking up autistic is, of course, that I have probably lived a fake life for 34 years. But there were moments that stood out, moments that held real meaning. This would be one such moment - coincidentally, around 6:30 am on a day in late December 2014, in Bengaluru.   On Saturday, the 13th of September 2025, at the age of 34 years, 5 months, and 24 days, at around 6:30 am, I woke up as a new person – an autistic person. I fall short of saying a proud autistic person, as it is a title so new to me, so new that I wonder if ‘autist’ is a valid term, but it is with some excitement that I awoke.  I have mulled the title for a few months now, my Eureka moment came some time in early 2025, what made this morning special was that I had come out the night before to an old friend, who had not judged me, who had not spoken of it as a disorder, and who had expressed a desire to be in my life more, which proposal obviously I promptly shot down.  Joy is an emo...
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Lessons from football

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Cavallero, Zanetti, Ayala, Samuel, Sorin, Simeone….this was the point that usually proved to be decisive, there were too many contenders for the front half. This was my magic trick to control my emotions when younger, a magic trick I’ve slowly lost touch with in adult life, I should go back to it more.  This - laying out Argentina’s ideal formation - is what came to my rescue in moments of intense feeling when they needed to be hidden. My face would immediately start looking like I was trying to remember a mathematical formula.  When I got the urge to burst out laughing at something someone said in school assembly, Argentina came to the rescue. Sometimes it would be so funny I’d have to go right up to Batistuta. Once or twice I’ve had to stretch myself to the substitutes’ bench too. Won't forgive Pochettino ever for conceding that penalty vs England, the biggest team of fakers When my tabla teacher’s voice droned on while I had to sit in attention even when I knew my team’s Wo...
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Why Djokovic loses first sets

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Does Novak Djokovic lose first sets intentionally? The question has finally been asked. This question has finally made me create a blog, after a few years of thinking about it during long walks back home, and 30 years of collecting material for it.  Djokovic vs Zverev, US Open 2021 (Getty)  Why did Djokovic lose the first set vs Zverev in the US Open semifinal last night? Why has Djokovic lost the first set in his last four consecutive victories? I've always had the feeling the Serb loses the first set just for kicks in big matches, so I've finally done some number digging+crunching about it. And...voila! As it turns out, Djokovic has the best record for winning matches after falling behind among players who have played a minimum of 100 ATP Tour matches in their career since 1991, which is when tennis statistics were first recorded.  Top 3 players to have won matches after losing first set  1. Novak Djokovic = 43.96% (91/207) 2. Pete Sampras = 41.33% (62/150) 3. Roge...
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